I can't believe how fast this vacation has gone by. In less than 2 days, I will be on a plane back to Houston to face reality. It's weird because I feel like this is my reality. I feel like I belong here in Seattle. Like this is my home.
But then I remember I have to go back to Houston, to the apartment I just signed a lease on and pack up my x-girlfriends shit and start over.
I'd rather start over in Seattle.
It turns out, you can't save people from themselves
I'm sitting on the couch watching Remember Me with my two best friends. They're so good to me. They've helped me forget about my small petty problems and realize I am so happy. I have fantastic friends, a beautiful home, an incredible job, a loving family. What more could I ask for? Just because I'm going through an awful break up doesn't mean I get a free pass to be self loathing and depressed for a couple of weeks. It means I need to reap the lessons, learn from my mistakes, and put them to use in every day life from now on. It means I need to change.
I have been self indulgent.
I have been harsh.
I don't have much tact.
I am completely selfish.
I tend to be self loathing.
I have a lot of bad qualities, but to become a better person, I need to start making a few small changes.
To be a happier person, I need to change.
So as soon as I get back to reality, I am going to begin this journey. I want to be as close to 100% happy with me from now on as I can get.
I am determined. I will be happy with me. I am generally happy with me now, but I am not the best me I could be. I have more potential. You can't expect to find the right someone UNTIL you know who you are, what matters to you, and what makes your heart happy
The more you know who you are, and what you want, the less you let things upset you.
I know I'm full of insecurities and disappointments, but I promise you there's a part of me worth keeping.
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